Camping in the back yard

Conor's 5th Birthday!!

Summer 2012

Ups and Downs ~My GOD who stays the same

I have to admit. This has not been my most favorite summer ever. There have been some precious moments. Tender phrases from precious children. Precious moments hearing God speak... but there sure have been some stinky parts to this summer. Some seasons are very busy. Some of us make our seasons busier than the rest of the family fully appreciate! I have no idea who that would be ;)But what I want to record for me and my family is that the God of the Bible; The God whom James and I serve is constant. He never fails. We do~ but He never does. I love reading and hearing from Ann Voskamp, Beth Moore, Christine Cain and our local Mary Wall. I love their passion for Christ. Their belief, dependence in Christ alone. I want that. I want to shout Christ's glory from the rooftops for all to hear,see and believe in THE miracle worker. In the One who saves, forgives, redeems!God can and does mighty things. I want to be right in the middle seeing Him work. He tells me that His way is narrow. He tells me I need to lose my life to find it. He tells me to forgive like He has forgiven me. Those things are hard to do in this age. The age where media tells us to be happy at any cost. Is life about happiness? I have Joy in Christ. Sometimes, I have joy in Christ but I am not happy. Life is sad sometimes. But there is joy in the midst of sorrow when we are comforted by Christ. When we allow ourselves to be comforted by Christ. That means we find our Bible and a quiet room and cry out to Jesus. Teaching children about Christ has to be one of the biggest blessings. Yesterday, Erin (3 years old) asked her first spiritual question that I know of. We were getting ready for church and I was brushing her hair. She said "Mommy,why do we go to church?". "We go to see God. We love God." "God is not there mom. I have never seen God!". "We hear,sing songs about Him,to Him. We read in the Bible about Him. We go because we love Him. Mammy and daddy love God." What better gift can we give to our children? Mammy and daddy love God. I am very thankful to have a relationship with God. I am very thankful that my children get to learn about Him at a very young age. May God do mighty things in and through each and everyone of them! May God do a mighty work in and through James and I. That is my renewed prayer. God~ we want to see you. We want others to see you and grow in you. We all have a limp as Beth Moore says. I have sadness. I am not going to blog about it. probably not going to talk to many about it. But I know where to bring my sadness. God alone can help me. God alone can help you. Bring your limp to Him. Bring your heavy heart to Him. When we fully obey Him. Watch Him turn our mourning into gladness. The fellowship with Christ is the best feeling EVER. He is worthy,mighty,loving,strong,caring on this Monday morning. "Casting ALL your cares upon Him because HE cares for YOU".

Africa?

I am not going to Africa :( James leaves on Sunday for 17 days... I have already stocked up on the important stuff ~coke, nutella, mac n cheese, pizza, fries, tater tots (i have never bought those before?!), pull ups and toilet paper. I may need a few more things but I have the essential survival kit with 5 kids, 5 and under and no hubby. I'm gonna miss him. I decided not to go when Conor started asking questions like "are you and dad coming back or are me and Erin gonna be foster kids?". He started acting very worried/angry about the trip shortly after we became foster parents. So, for the sake of the kids not having to fret for 17 days if they will be having a new family, I am staying home with my babies. Now, for you think ahead people, you're like "hello Aisling, I could have told ya that!". I am slow. I am a live in the moment person and sometimes my thinking doesn't catch up in time. Any way, me and the kids will have a blast... I am trying to convince myself! :) No. We will! I forgot to mention, I bought some Ben and Jerry's ice cream too. If you are worried about me, bring me a frozen coke from burger king or a strawberry limeade from sonic. That's all. no bread. Just fluid. Thank ya ;) James is going with a great group from the youth group. I cannot wait to hear all about it. I have been reading 'aholyexperience.com' blog and she just came back from Haiti. She is angry at the amount of stuff we have and how greedy we are. I am too! Looking forward to seeing what Africa is going to do to James and the rest of the group. We are three months into fostering and it has been so beautiful. I am not kidding. I have had seven foster children in my home so far and we have loved most every moment :) I say most every moment because we did get head lice last week. Right before church. We did bring our kids to someone elses home WITH our creepy crawlies. I am still embarrassed about that! James and I said to each other on Sunday,"well,this (cleaning,shampooing,combing hair,making phone calls...sigh), is what God had for us today". "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it". We have had some fevers, teething, virus', ear infections. But it has all been very beautiful. What a privilege to be the mom to these kiddos. What a privilege to love them through times of their own weakness. Times of our own weakness. You should see Conor and Erin. They are such helpers! Erin thinks she is the mom and we are constantly telling her to leave the baby alone. Conor gets it. He gets that we are loving kids that God has sent for us to love. We are very proud of him. We have had two foster kids since April 16. When S (2yr, now 3) walked in the front door he said "Hi dad". We fell in love immediately!! baby S came in at 10 months old to us. She has progressed so much! It has been awesome to watch. They both have had birthdays since they have been here. Their parties were a lot of fun (hard. emotionally draining but fun because God was there with His never ending LOVE)! We celebrated with their birth mom and grandma. Fun memories. God calls us all to different things. Your life will not look like mine. Mine will not look like yours. My encouragement to you is Seek the Lord and live the life HE has for you. His grace is always enough. His grace will be enough for the next 17 days. For James in Africa and me in Roanoke. I am kinda sad I am not going to Africa but I am very glad I get to be mom to five precious children. I am. I really am. oxxoxo

What's it Really like?

Erin is hilarious. She is one of a kind. You cannot leave her alone because she will find trouble in the most funniest and cute way. She was sharing a room with little 10 month old. But I kept finding her in the crib. With the baby. The baby who was sleeping before Erin decided to have a party in her crib! She got in trouble for that... so then Erin would get right up to the baby BUT stay on the outside of the crib. Still waking the baby up of course. Be it nap time or 6am ~ Erin is oblivious to the need for sleep. If there is another person to be found ~she will find them and proceed to throw a party! Erin got evicted form the baby's room. We put her on the bottom bunk in Conor's room. She likes being in with Conor and two year old. But she would get out of her bed and climb into their beds and just chat. The girl loves to chat. She cannot chat from her bed because she feels the need to be very close to people. Erin got evicted from the boy's room and her toddler bed is now in my room where I can keep my eyes on her. I have seen toddler beds in the master bedroom before and thought that was very weird. I'll admit it. I judged. Well, now that we have four kids and one of them being Erin. I fully understand toddler beds in the master bedroom. She wakes up and climbs into my bed early. My bed is alot better than waking up the children. We have to keep an eye on her because she tries to sneak out and wake the kids up. I'm telling ya~ Erin is a party animal. I don't think she is trying to be bad. She is drawn to the kids. She's like a magnet! I found this post in my drafts and had to share it bc Erin is wild i tell ya ;) hope it made you smile like it did me ;0)

Something Sad

I have to tell you this. You know the way our church youth group goes to the Baptist Community Center every wed and help the kids with their homework and play with them? Well, James got a call from the director Thursday night. She said DSS had come to a house in the neighborhood and took some precious children into care. Pat said she would call James and ask if those precious children could be placed in a family in our church. Pat said "are there any more families in your church that I can give DSS their phone number and send the kids to their house?" Pat really wanted these children to be able to stay together. She didn't want them to be put in different homes and add to their trauma. Sadly, we didn't have anyone to tell her about. It is humbling to receive a phone call from the community asking for help and have to say no... sometimes you have to say no. But I don't think so in this case. Helping the orphans? I don't think so... Pat's phone call came on the heels of an e mail the church received asking for help with foster respite care. It seems like God is doing something in our midst. I am excited to see what God is going to do. I love love love being a part of a church that is growing and listening to the Spirit of God. It is a wonderful thing! I was sad this week that would couldn't help this family and community center but I am excited about what God is preparing us for. Mercy should Triumph within ourselves, our family and our Church.

Africa this summer? a helpful tool to get there!

I was praying about going to Africa this summer with James and the youth group. If you read my account of the Mexico trip you may be laughing at me. I am a spoiled brat. I do have a very easy life. But - since I was a child I have dreamed about Afica. So, my heart is drawn to this trip (even thouh my food preferences and my pale skin are a little worried!).
The cost is the big factor. Do we take a time out from the dave ramsey plan? Is it worth it? ...
James and I decided I should go to Africa! There is alot to be said in the book of James about not scurrying around being worried about money. That being said - someone has got to make the green stuff to make life run smoothly.
I was readng moneysaving mom's blog and just so happened to be on there the day she was giving away her new audio book to bloggers - God blessed me with a free copy! Her book was very helpful in giving me ideas to save money for my upcoming missions trip.
I have read Dave Ramsey Books and have listened to his radio show. He helped our family realize that we wanted to "live like no one else now so eventually we could live like no one else!" We will forever be thankful to him for helping us climb out of debt. What I loved about moneysaving mom's book is that... well, she's a mom! She thinks and talks like a mom. Dave does not talk that way :0)So - if you want to sit down and hear from a sweet friend, this lady is the one to shed some light on your finances. She starts out having you dream up some goals. Where would you like to see yourself in 5 years? Break your goals down into bite size pieces. She talks about you cleaning your house so you can think straight! Some of you may not like that but it is a proven fact that if your house is messy then inside your pretty little head is messy ;) After those two things she has you tackle your food budget and so on.
Another thing I appreciate about her is she mentions a few times that you are going to mess up. Give yourself three months to conquer a certain area. Ahhh, that is so freeing to me. I have three months to get it right! Thank you! That's what gets me about coupons. I want to have it all figured out in the first shopping trip. That wasnt happening and it was bugging me. I will sort some other areas out but when the time is right, i just may give the coupon thing a try again... and hang on for three months. Another freeing thing she says in her book is to allow 40 dollars per person in your family for your grocery bill,toiletries etc. I don't know about you but that is way more than I spend a week. She is not saying you can only spend 50 dollars a week. Mind you - before children, 50 dollars was our budget. Kids are expensive!
So what have I learned in this book and how will it help me get to Africa?
1. Set a goal - Africa
2. Bite size pieces - figure out how much money I need per month to get there. (done that!)
3. Come up with ideas to make the money. (yep!) shave off money from the grocery bill, make short term sacrifices.
Listening to her book was a blessing and helped me remember that I can reach pretty amazing goals if I work at it.

If you are struggling financially or if your a mom and would like some positive reinforcement into your budget, then this is the book for you. I looove Dave Ramsey but I have to say Moneysaving mom says the same stuff in a nice kind friend to friend way. I have never met her but after listening to her audio book a few times, i consider her a friend :0) ... and thanks for the free audio book!

Best Easter gift!

What to say what to say... First of all the blog world looks different. I am so behind the times! I wrote a post about a great book Money Saving Mom wrote and I cannot find it. She gave it to me for free and I didnt even post about it. I will. I promise. I keep thinking I need James to help me on here and then I forget to ask him. We have added two blessings to our family. I am not talking about pets either. I know some people are into pets but not me. Or James. We got lucky and Conor is allergic to dogs so we have an awesome excuse. Anyway, what I was saying was, God has allowed us to have a wonderful little boy and girl come stay with us. They are gorgeous!! They are brother and sister and I love the fact they get to stay together. Let me back track. On Easter Day I got my first ever foster child. How special. God allowed me to celebrate new life in so many ways that day. I got to watch a 4 month old little boy for a week and he was precious! Well, except for the whole not sleeping through the night business! ;) While he was here, was when my other two blessings came. So, if you are counting that means we had 5 children 4 years old and younger and two of them were little babies. It was busy. But I am not going to lie, I had help! A big shout out to Emily McBride who came over and rocked babies, fed babies, Changed babies and had the magic touch at putting them to sleep. Busy times are wonderful bonding times with whoever will step into your crazy. After all, it is not their crazy. They can stay home and do their own thing. But those who joined me in those few days of crazy ~ Thank you! One friend brought me a meal. I didnt need a meal. BUT I felt verrrry loved by her that she would take the time to do that for me. So now we have two boys and two girls and they are enjoying each other very much. I am giving myself six weeks to get used to a new normal. I have three weeks left. The cutest thing is seeing Conor draw six people in his family. Another adorable thing is watching them all sleep so sweetly. This week James came in with a card from the mail. The card was so pretty. There was 60 dollars in the card and no name! Praise God for His many blessings. What I love about serving God and extending mercy is ~ I have a front row seat in watching God do pretty cool things. I am not doing it. He is! He blesses when we do what He has called us to. So~ how are we doing? Everyone is doing well and James and I feel humbled that God would allow us to love these children on His behalf.

Mercy?

So I renamed the blog today. From Solarek Family to Mercy Triumphs. I have been studying the book of James with Beth Moore and have learned so much. James 2:13 says " Mercy triumphs over judgment". That is what I would like our family motto to be. We are far from perfect but we want to serve God with all of our heart. He has blessed us so very much and I want to share those things with my children. Beth says the theme verse for James is 2:8,9. "If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, You shall love your neighbor as yourself, you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors."

That's our family goal.

We are in the middle of our Foster Parent class ~ things are going well and we feel blessed to be in the class and to be a part of the community in this wonderful way. We pray for our children that God is going to bless us with. We want to love these little ones and show them the Love of God. Be praying for us to love unconditionally and maybe God would like your family to love some more children? I asked the social worker if she was happy with the amount of foster parents she had. She looked at me like I was crazy and said "No~ we need many more families!". Maybe, there are some Christ followers who can bless these children with a home and a family? Mercy Triumphs...

Hiking - a cold day sandwhiched between two beautiful days - go figure!

So it wasnt just cold - it snowed. It was very pretty on the way up but the whole way down... was freezing! I think I am starting to warm up days later! ;)

Conor made this craft in church a few months ago. It was so precious I had to frame it! The first thing he was thankful for was papa and grandma.

Preschool with the best teacher ever - Mrs Jones

Baking with Grandma

FYI If Erin makes you cookies... just know that she has probably licked the knife of the icing and then used it on your cookie. She is three but still a wild child :0)

Birthday Celebrations Continued...

Erin's 3rd birthday was on monday and James' 30th birthday is Saturday. It was so fun to have papa and grandma here to party with us.

Erin Grace is three years old!

My baby is three years old xoxox

Papa and Grandma came to suprise James and Erin for their birthday. We went to chick fil a for lunch. Then we went to Build a Bear with Addison and Skylar. We had a fun birthday celebration. Chloe Beth came over for cake and ice cream after dinner. The people at chick fil a sang to erin and she loved it but was shy at the same time. When we sang to her with her princess cake, she just laughed and giggled with glee the whole time. It was precious. She enjoyed her day and loved all the parties! :)

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Under the Bridge

I have seen some cool 'God' things lately. I have been blessed to hand out food to the homeless. What strikes me each time is how big and scary those men look... But the light and softeness in thier eyes when we reach out. When we say "would you like a sandwhich?". I got to pray for William and ask God to bless him with a job. I got to talk to a lady who has had two children and they have been placed for adoption, living in two different states. I got to talk to a man who fled his home because he is wanted for arrest up there and has three children that he does not see or take care of. God, show these people your love through your Word and please use me in the process.
I saw God work Tuesday morning as we passed out some food and Bible verses. That night we went back to the Rescue Mission. I sat by Davea. She moved here from South Carolina. One of her four children is in Melisa's class. Wow - God. Thank you! Melisa teaches in the inner city school to be love and a light to the children. How awesome you are to lead us to people who desparetley need you. May they be comforted by you, Jesus!
Donita gave a Bible to a man she met in the morning time. He just got out of prision in California and is going through the program at the Mission. He wants to get his GED. He was blessed by Donita's kindness and knows God is blessing him. We are blessed to be a blessing. Let us never forget that.
A man said to me "did I see you in the park on Sunday? you gave me a sandwhich". He said "please remember to pray for me". I was moved that he remembered that small act.
People around us are hurting. People around us do not know the kindness and goodness of the mighty Saviour. Please share the good news of Christ this week.
I was moved to see the activity on facebook from people in our church sunday night. God is getting a hold of hearts. Last night, I saw that a cashier recieved three tracts and an invitation to a movie being shown at our church this saturday. That is so awesome!!! We are listening to the Bible and applying what we know. Yay!
For God so loved the world that HE gave His only begotten Son. That whoever believes in Him should not perish but have EVERLASTING LIFE. John 3:16
I am blessed to Know God and His Word. If you know God and His Word, pass it on friends. Pass it on.

Erin

Something that I have noticed lately is bedtime routines. The kids love for me to come into their rooms and pray with them and say goodnight. This is after daddy has already been in to them. Erin prays forever (it feels like it!) she goes on and on about everything that has happened that day. I bought her a new night light becasue her other one was way too bright. Erin does not need as much sleep as the rest of us think we need! She wakes up as happy as can be and cant wait for breakfast :) One night the power went out. None of us noticed because we were sleeping... that is until erin started to cry becasue her night light went out and she woke from her sleep knowing her room was too dark! That is how light of a sleeper she is. She hates the dark. We pray for angels to protect her while she is sleeping because she thinks monsters live in her room. She is two folks.
Her friend Ella gave her some princess clothes. Erin loves dressing up and she adored the new dresses, necklaces and purse. So - that night she refused to wear a pull up to bed. She said princess do not wear pull ups to bed. Needless to say we put one on her but at two in the morning we hear her crying. She had taken off her pullup and wet her bed. It wasnt funny at the time but it makes me smile. She really believed wearing that dress to bed would make her wake up dry. Oh Erin - we love you so much and you make us smile with all your craziness. You can spell your name now. I love how you say orange. You love baby kendra and addison coming over to play with you. You are so excited for your birthday in Feb so you can make a bear (build a bear). Every day you say 'I love you. Is it MY birthday? I hope you read this someday erin and know how very funny you were from such an early age. May you never loose your easy going, fun loving, crazy persoanlity! You are so very sweet. I love you baby girl!

Tammy Bennett - personality plus (her thoughts!)

I heard this lady speak and I enjoyed hearing about the different personalities! So fun to pick out your personality and your hubby's personality :)

Sanguine - have fun
Choleric - take control (me ahem)
Phlegmatic - find peace, avoid conflict (james ahem)
Melancholy - perfection

Okay - so I was going to write my notes out for you... but you could probablly google those four words and find out which describes you the most.

Interesting. What I love is that God gave me my personality and even though I am the bossy one... I get alot done! :) There are wonderful traits to my personality and some that are on the ugly side. I can surrender the good, bad and ugly to God and He makes beauty out of ashes. Lord, thank you for my personality. Please take me and mold me into your masterpiece. Amen

Thoughts from Linda Mintle on Relationships

I attended a cenference a while back and thought I would share the information I learned from Linda Mintle.

If you have a problem with a difficult person- don't cut them off. It makes you a better person to figure it out. God puts us in relationship. How i love is how i show Christ's love to others.

Here is a simple belief that creates relationship problems... we try to change others!

Year 2, 7 and 15 are tricky years in a relationship. Truth - I cannot change anyone.

Relationship dance steps:
Discuss- Avoid
Demand - Refuse
Criticize - defend (avoid)
Accuse - deny
Pursue - distance
Attach - withdraw
Attack - attack
withdraw - withdraw

We need to change your step in the dance and the relationship dance changes.

The Change Process:

Surrender.
1 peter 5:6
"humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.

Accept the need for change
psalm 139:1

Confess your behavior (couples pray together) you will be A M A Z E D what praying together can do. Please - try it... please.
james 5:16

Take responsibility
galations 6:5

Forgive (forgiveness takes one - ouch!)
matthew 6:14

Be Transformed
2 corinthians 3:18

Persevere
2 peter 1:5

No relationship is beyond repare if you are willing to reconcile. Forgiveness takes 1 - reconciliation takes 2.
Pray, Forgive, Do things together, Control your tongue (james 3) Deal with conflict and focus on the positivies.

This may be vague but the information really helped me so I wanted to write it down on here. Thanks! :)