Foster/Adoption Books

Orphanology by Tony Merida and Rick Morton... Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore... The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis,David Cross and Wendy Sunshine... Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber and Phylis Speedlin... Bloodlines by John Piper (understanding the issues surrounding inter racial adoption)... Thriving as as Adoptive Family by David and Renee Sanford (Focus on the Family book)... A resource I have enjoyed is the Focus on the Family radio. They have said so much about Adoption and it has been a huge blessing to me to hear from others who have walked a similar road.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!

Foster Mom thoughts (part 3)

We took the class. Finished the class in April. On a Thursday. Got our first foster baby boy the next day! He was with us for a week. He was with us for respite. His foster family were taking a weeks break. You know you can be approved for respite care? You can take the class and help those foster families who need a short break. Respite. A friend of mine is a respite foster mom and she has provided a loving home for many children while their foster families rest. April 16, God brought us a two year old boy and an 8 month old girl. I have told you about them before and told you how quickly we all fell in love. These two were younger than Conor and Erin and we had the perfect little family. Four kids. Two boys. Two girls. This little guy and little girl have an older brother and sister. As I would bring my little ones to visit their parents at the DSS,I would see the older brother and sister. I would hear them say to their younger brother and sister, "I really miss you. I love you. I will see you next week". I could see the sadness as they would not only have to leave their parents. They would have to leave their siblings. I started to fall in love with them. I was hoping someone in my church would take the older two children so they could be close to their younger siblings. I was really hoping God wouldn't pick me. Do you ever feel that way? If we took the older two, I felt like my life would get too messy. I mean, Conor would not be the oldest child in the family. What was this going to do to Conor and Erin? I was worried about MY children.I was worried about what others would say or think? God said to me "They are all MY children". God's heart breaks for ALL of the children in the World. Mine should too, right? So in August we asked the DSS if we could foster all four children so they could be together. They told us to wait until the end of December. We were willing and obeyed God. That is all we could do. So we went home and waited for God to bring these two children into our family. I will tell you that the enemy shows up when you are standing up for children in need. People in need. Life isn't easy. Whose life is? Everyone has something. You know why we have something? It's so we bring our something to God. In our weakness HE is made strong. HE can do all things. HE can be our strength. God also brings blessings. Our neighbor was moving and she asked me if I would like a set of bunk beds and mattress. Yes please!! You know what the precious part of that was? The bunk beds matched the other furniture. God cared about the girl's room enough to send us free matching furniture. Isn't that precious? That's God. I didn't do that. God gave us another dresser for free. We bought two for a great price on Craigs list. We bought a bed for 15 dollars at a second hand store. God provides. Now, just so you know, all of our bedroom furniture is second hand (except for our crib and matching dresser that my mom bought when we were pregnant with conor). We treat the children how we treat ourselves. I had two families from my church give me Christmas presents for the kids. Things that looked brand new that their family didn't need anymore. Awesome!! God was so kind to give us months to prepare for the older two children. We had time to prepare our hearts,home. We had time to emotionally prepare our children. We had time for a trip to Disney World! ;) God brought the older two children to us Dec 22. It has been over three weeks since they arrived. The oldest boy and Conor are best friends! They have so much fun together!! Wow. How God blesses obedience :0)They are on the same basketball team. They play Star Wars together. The six children have a great time together and they have all been so good! I am in shock that they all clean up after themselves. They enjoy doing chores. They fold and put away their own laundry (5 of the 6 kids do this!) Blessed? I am blessed. The children are blessed to be together. but I am blessed to watch how beautiful this all is. God came after these four siblings and He has a super plan for them. He has a plan for my six children. If I obey God, I will see beautiful things. Alot of times beauty comes from ashes right? I have noticed a few things. The amount of doctor appointment's sky rockets. Babysitters for date night is a must. Paper plates are a must. Laundry is never ending but the big jump in that one was going from 2 kids to 4. Honestly 6 kids is not thaaaat much different than 4. honestly. 4 from 2 was a bigger adjustment. The older kids bring different advantages to the table. The younger ones fit nicely into the family but cannot not verbalize all that has happened in their little lives. The older children can verbalize which has been sad but good that we can help them process their pain. I feel like labels have been put on older foster children that should not be there. Biological parents have made mistakes. The children have not. Number 1 rule? Treat these angels how you would want someone to treat your children if for some reason you could not take care of them. Be quick to hear, slow to speak,slow to anger. Be slow to label children. We know the miracle worker. His name is Jesus.

My thoughts on being a Foster Mom (part 2)

I have received a lot of questions on fostering and thought it might be helpful to blog about my experience. I have mentioned that I felt the call to foster/adopt since I was a little girl. James did not. He said he had never thought about it until we discussed it. He agreed it was a good thing and something we could do but he had not thought about the need before. When we ministered in Michigan, there was a family who had two grown sons.They were nearing 50 years old. Heading into easy street,right? In our same church,there were these three little girls in a foster home. The foster mom said she could not adopt these girls and they probably would not end up staying together. They would be separated. The couple with the grown sons heard about it. Got a burden for these three girls. Went through the foster class, got approved to adopt these precious princesses. James and I attended their adoption ceremony. The court room was filled with joy! God allowed us to see their example and he was sowing seeds in our hearts. Their dedication at church was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen! Imagine these three princesses standing on the stage with their forever family. The pastor is talking about how we have all been adopted in the family of God. What an amazing picture! For us, as we saw this precious couple 25 years older than us take up the baton for these girls... We knew it would be us some day. This couple traded in their sports car for a mini van. I am sure these years have not been without challenges but I am sure they are as fulfilled as fulfilled can be as they parent these beautiful sisters. Many women have said to me "I would love to foster but my husband does not want to". Pray for him. Be the best wife and mom you can be through God's power to those He has already given you. All you can be is willing and obedient. You obviously need your husband to be supportive and know that God has called you to this. If he says no, wait and pray and ask God to do a miracle in his heart. Help other foster families. Mentor one child or one mother. Maybe that is what God has for your family at this time. Maybe this small exposure will open your husband's heart and mind to the idea. Fostering is not for everyone. But I am convinced more families need to consider the blessing they have been given. I have an awesome family. Conor and Erin have an awesome daddy. We need to share our blessings with little children who have nothing. Nothing. Here in Roanoke. Children have nothing.

My thoughts on being a Foster Mom (part 1)

This time last year we were starting our journey into the Fostering community. We had talked before we were married about fostering or adopting one day. We thought we will have four biological children and then we will foster or adopt. Well, after our second pregnancy we decided two biological children were enough. I did not like being pregnant. James did not like me being pregnant. Sorry. That's honest. But true. We felt a calling to foster/adopt and thought if we have any more biological children we may not follow through (because i would probably be in an insane institution some where!)God uses all sorts of people, right? ;) Growing up, I had been exposed to different families who fostered. I thought those families were the biggest heroes in society. God had put a fire in my heart for children who needed a home. I am not for sure why. Partly, many missionaries and church members allowed me to be a part of their families when I was a child. I would eat dinner with them, go on vacations with them. I loved when I got to stay at people's homes because my school lunch would be so awesome. Kids would want to trade with me! I loved it!! I loved the attention. I loved seeing into how other families lived. I loved having family devotions, special bed time routines. It was all foreign to me and wonderful! Now, my little sister was with me and she hated it. She wanted to be at home. Even though home was not glorious at times, it was her home and her family. So, as different personalities come into my home I try to remember both personalities. Two summers ago, James and I went to Hawaii and had a blast. Then, we went to Mexico to build homes for the homeless. It was an eye opening experience. I saw how selfish I am and how much I love stuff. James and I had our two kids. We said we would kick back and enjoy life until Erin was 5 years old. Then we would add on to our family how ever God decided. Erin was only two and our life was starting to get nice and easy. Ahhh, the American dream. I thought if I have to live in America, I might as well make the best of it and live on easy street. After all, this is America. The message that God spoke into our hearts that week in Mexico was 'You are BLESSED to be a BLESSING'. We came back to America changed. We went to an orientation meeting at the DSS (Department for Social Services) in Roanoke. Treena asked us how we heard of the program. We said "God". We googled Foster Care in Roanoke and this is where it led us. She looked a little puzzled. Maybe it doesn't always look that way but for us, God spoke, we obeyed and here we are. We missed the Fall class and we signed up for the January class. It gave us time to fill out the paperwork and prepare our family, finances for that was about to come. We thought we would take the class and see where God led us. If he wanted us to wait until Erin was 5 he would let us know and shut the doors. We took the class and were pleasantly surprised how well our faith in God was received. We took our two kids with us for the free childcare. We figured this was our new life and we wanted to see how our kids handled this new situation and how the DSS handled our kids. Now, if we had any family in town we would have our kids with them. Our class met from 6pm-9pm for 9 weeks (i think it was 9?). They gave us homework each week. The homework was about your own childhood and how you would handle children in different situations. I had a hard time with the homework because for me, it would bring back painful memories. James? he flew through it and it didn't bother him at all. There are two home visits. The first one is no preparation. The second one is. They want to make sure you have the right amount of beds, dressers, space. They make sure you have supplies for an emergency and so on. Easy stuff. I find the DSS to be very supportive and easy to work with. They are realistic. They know we are far from perfect and they hold us to very reasonable standards. I know every county,state,country is different. God has blessed us with a great group of people to work with! If you are in Roanoke and you feel the nudge to be a foster family, go to an orientation meeting. Take the class. They have many people who take the 9 week class and decide this is not for them. You will never know unless you try right? :)

Christmas

Christmas 2012

Each Christmas season gets better and better! James' family came to visit which was wonderful. The children love love love having James' family here :) Papa and Grandma play from morning to night with the children so it is a very fun and exciting time when they come to visit. God gave us the gift of two more children Dec 22. What an honor to share the real meaning of Christmas with these little angels. Christmas evening we hopped in the car to share joy in our local nursing home. You can imagine how precious it was to see the children be a blessing to others on Christmas Day. A wonderful, blessed Christmas. I hope yours was too.